Stop blog for quite a long period

Today is Day 22 that I was broken . I don't no why I still can't let it go ... ? The sweet memories still around my mind . Maybe people would said after broken , mostly the sad memories will get around a person mind , but I'm optimistic enough and just take the good inside my mind ? But if that's good memories , why when I flash back , my tears dropped ? When I receive message , I felt happy and I knew the person going good . Finally realized what's the greatest of love , a person after broken but they still want their partner always happy , and when got problem , the ex don't mind to become a listener . Previouly , I thought that's the bullshit , but nowadays I'm among the bullshit . I don't even dare to become friend back once broken , because the hurt inside my heart cannot be relieved . But these relationship taught me to be mature and I got love phobia nowadays . What I get moral of the story is ??? Love is full with lie , absent of sincerity , just part of life and not how much u plow that's how much u gonna be harvest . But how much u plow also won't be how much u harvest , that's many factor could lead to that . But at least I don't need worried too much about financial problem anymore e.g phone credit , P1 Max and class fund using the total of RM 500 per month .I tried everything to let it , I eat chocolate , I cried , I craving for food , I went for jogging , but it didn't work . I'm still cried when I'm alone . God , is that the judgement that u gave to me ?