Hope the sadness would disappear

I would ask what's happening to me ??? Depression still keep on attack my mindset . I would ask is that ridiculous to ask partner to have dinner with me everyday ? Is that ridiculous when I hug partner to sleep ? Why didn't had any scientific proven about love ? Then I could turns better because of those theory . The reference of articles really is depending on experience , that's what I experienced it . Love articles from sweet to sadness , everybody experienced it before , BUT why I didn't take it as a lesson ??? I saw a articles at Facebook just now , why the guy's always less a NEURON ( science terms - for the neurological terms ) and the girl's more one NEURON ??? But I had the female NEURON that love ROMANTIC ??? I'm just a f**k combination of 2 kind of gender ??? IMPOSSIBLE !!! The god created human being , is that I'm a INSANE or just abnormality that happened in my psychological problem + mental status .Really just hoped everything would be fine after this RAYA holiday . Everything turns normal and become a LEONARD Chong as usual as I did .